Sign up for NerdPol, the cutting edge seminar in international relations! You’ll never look at foreign policy the same way again!
Given by a random professor of political science at a cow college you’ve never heard of, this course is on the cutting edge of online training in politics! And it’s not either a melange of leftist talking points and meaningless, vapid generalities! So stop saying that! Sign up today!
Here’s what you’ll learn!
– How Iraq was the biggest foreign policy mistake in history! How it was all the fault of George Bush! And why Obama saved the day in Iraq by precisely following the course laid out by George Bush! And why there’s absolutely no contradiction in that analysis!
– Why war is icky and unhealthy for children and other living things!
– Why modern societies such as those in Europe have grown beyond the need for soldiers! And why that’s wonderful because being a soldier is so stressful most of them go crazy from it!
– How stainless knight John Kerry furnished the model for 21st century negotiation while he was a young man by encouraging and advising his country’s enemies during negotiations! And why that’s not treason in the new, post-modern, 21st century version of foreign affairs! And why fifty people who tried to smear him during his presidential campaign are all liars because a random leftist on wikipedia said so!
– How to be tentative and silent on foreign policies that you really don’t approve of because they involve soldiers but are so popular that your leftist leaders have to embrace them anyway! Like Afghanistan!
– Why religion trumps everything in the Middle East and why Arab Iraqis just can’t wait to turn over their entire future and wealth to their Persian masters in Iran!
– Why Russia is no threat, China is no threat, Islamic terrorists are not a significant threat, and in general why we don’t have to be afraid of anyone on Earth as long as we’re nice to them! Because war is just icky!
– Why Americans just suck except for those on the left who want to bring the US down to everyone else’s level! And why Europeans have it all figured out and we should follow their wise leftist lead even though we had to rescue and protect them out three times in the last one hundred years!
– How Jimmy Carter is our greatest ex-president because of his unique ability to
suck up to wisely dialog with foreign leaders!
– And, most important of all, why you should completely ignore five thousand years of history to embrace all these ideas!
Taught by political science professor Ott Scerb, or maybe Scott Erb, it’s hard to tell the difference. Author of a book on foreign policy! An actual book! You could buy it online! On eBay for $2.10! (Published by a real publisher and definitely not a vanity press that suckers social science academics.) And that’s not all of his credentials! There’s more!
– Has a degree from a highly respected graduate program in international studies. And it’s definitely not true that the degree is granted to anyone who pesters the faculty long enough that they grant a degree to get rid of the student! It’s only given for smart, analytical, perceptive people who can write amazing amounts of dense, rich prose! And if you think my prose is dense, just wait until you hear my lectures!
– Head of a political science department at a small university you’ve never heard of, but which certainly isn’t an obscure cow college. And who definitely did not get the job just because he was the only one who would take the low salary and still fill out all the paperwork involved!
– Black belt master of smug condenscension, so you can be assured that any contrary comment you make will be treated with politeness while being airily dismissed!
This is unlike any political science course or seminar you’ve ever had before. And definitely not because it reaches unprecedented levels of boredom, so stop saying that!
And if you order now, I’ll also throw in my special ten pack of blog comments on your political blog. Or, if your blog is populated by dense righties, a thousand pack! But that’s not because I enjoy talking down to dense righties, so stop saying that!
Common questions and answers about the course
“Is it true that your father in law is an ex-Soviet? And does that inform your opinions on international relations?”
Yes, my father-in-law is an ex-Soviet, but he wasn’t one of the oppressive kind who had to flee after the breakdown, so stop saying that. And I didn’t meet my wife through an online Russian bride advertisement, so you shouldn’t even think that.
And certainly my family helps me gain valuable perspective on how terrible the US really is. And that’s not either a contradiction coming from people who want to live here. Not at all.
“Will you be covering the relationship of economic systems to foreign relations, such as the impact of the Soviet system of complete government control vs the US free market system and how that diffence affected the Cold War and the USSR’s ultimate dissolution?”
Absolutely! It’s very important for me to correct some severe misapprehensions about markets, because they are widespread. For example, markets don’t adjust themselves, there’s no reason to believe they do. Only when wise pragmatic leftists control the levers of power can markets be made to work correctly. And that is absolutely not in contradiction with the collapse of the Soviet Union where they completely controlled the market, for very obscure reasons that take a long, long time to explain in my course.
“Will you be looking at wider social trends and their effects on international relationships?”
Yes indeed! For example, I explore the concept of gender and how it is socially constructed, and why that has horrible side effects such as encouraging boys to become soldiers and participate in icky wars.
“How about international problems such as climate change?”
I will spend a lot of time explaining how a mortal threat that might wipe out all of humanity in a few years had a grave effect on international relations, and why only dramatic increases in government power over the
proles common citizens can deal with the threat. I’ll also discuss how the European model of centralized government not accountable to those proles common citizens but instead run by wise, trained experts like me is a much better model. And, of course, it will unfortunately be necessary to deal with the Nazi-like, thuggish deniers who threaten to derail the process of glorious salvation through more government control.
“Are you real? I mean, you’re such a caricature of a clueless, out of touch leftist academic that it’s hard to believe you could be that stupid. You sound more like a cleverly designed computer program.”
I’m completely real and human, and definitely not the outcome of an experimental program at the University of Maine to pass the Turing test. And occasional glitches in my writing don’t mean
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